Teenage Violence At Home

Things we wish we had been told

August 26, 2014 Poster Uncategorized

Points that may save your sanity and dare I say, your life: Suggestions are in no particular order and not all of these points may be feasible in your family situation but I urge you to employ at least some, for safety’s sake.

… Keep a journal: Dot points with date, time and quick explanation e.g ‘raging after being told no, hacked at bedroom door with knife for two hours’.   A pattern of behaviours might emerge and this could only be helpful for everyone.

…Whenever possible take photo of damage either to yourself/other family member or to property

…Tie in photo to journal

…Don’t keep it a secret. Confide in trusted friend or family

…Always seek out a professional confidence ie a family doctor and/or other specialist. As well as looking for a way forward and how to help your family, these people are required to keep records and if needed can be of invaluable support to you.

… Don’t blame yourself. I’d like to shout this from a mountain top. It is very easy to start questioning and blaming yourself or worse, your partner.

Other strategies we used:

…We stayed united as a couple. Talk to each other, agree on how to handle a situation and have an ‘action plan’ if violence erupts.

… Be consistent with boundaries

… We did not reward bad behaviour by ‘giving in’ but tried to find ways of a compromise when appropriate.

…Reinforced to our children that they were loved, but that we did not love abusive behaviour.

…We never blamed the children

…We refused to be punching bags, doormats. Safety first. It’s better to have possessions damaged than yourself.

***We would appreciate any feedback. What has worked for others?

One response to “Things we wish we had been told”

  • Di says:

    all great ideas to not only help document the happenings but to give a different and reasonable focus to people experiencing emotional and physical family trauma.

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