Teenage Violence At Home

Our greatest challenge

August 17, 2014 Poster Uncategorized

Both of our older children behaved with irrational or violent behaviour and at times it felt like we were part of an orchestrated game….first one child had the ball then the other child took over. It was never both children at the same time. Our son was extroverted and ‘out there’ with violence. Our daughter was more introverted and manipulative. We felt like we were drowning. That might sound melodramatic. It sapped our energy but for the sake of our much younger child we were able to gather our strength and maintain some sort of balance in our work life and at home. Even now thinking back I have a sense of panic, how can I explain what it was like, were we the only people who experienced this from their children?  By the time our kids were 13 and 12 respectively they were forming a sense of righteousness. “We know our rights, you can’t touch us”. Somehow, through school, their peers and even from other parents our kids were learning that their ages and their status as adopted children, protected them from any real accountability. They were becoming masters of manipulation and were twisting safety messages taught from school into a type of shield.

We knew we weren’t alone. Once I had a friend crying to me over the phone. She and her husband were experiencing very similar behaviours at home. If I close my eyes I can still hear her, “What am I going to do? I should know what to do, I’m a Health Professional”. That friend felt no one would believe her, their child was under 12.

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