Teenage Violence At Home

Violence in a blink

July 23, 2014 Poster Uncategorized

 To be writing to you about this, and our feelings, is a huge leap, hopefully forward. I worry that to tell our experiences will reopen the door to fresh abuse.                                                                 Spineless, weak, toughen up and dish out a taste of their own medicine….these are all things that people hinted at or even just saying straight out,  when we tried to explain what it was like in our home….very few people understood the level of violence we faced each day. It was like walking through a minefield and as days became months and the months became years their behaviour became more irrational, more unpredictable. We had two children fast growing into teenagers. Our son would openly rage with demonic fury and our daughter was becoming more cunning about how and when she tried to inflict pain , either physically to our youngest child or by undermining our role as parents.  We found out much later, our daughter was telling outrageous stories why she had been adopted by us . At the time, my husband and I often wondered why other kids from their school would look at us with curious stares. We were so focused on finding answers and how to overcome our son’s violence that we shrugged off those stares.  

What made everything even more frightening is that both of my older two children could change that behaviour into the most charming, polite and charismatic teenagers you could ever wish to meet. Often there could be snarling and hurling abuse at us, slamming doors in our faces and alienating themselves from any attempt at contact. They would swing into absolute charmers, once out the door in public or if someone called in to visit…..it was like a light switch, it was that quick. That was the most frightening, to see those children change at about the same time it would have taken to blink                                                                                                                                                               We were neither spineless nor weak and yes, we did toughen up to preserve the safety of our much younger child. We allowed ourselves to take the full force of their irrational behaviour. What was even worse, we stopped trying to tell others. 

We felt isolated. We still feel we need to remain as anonymous as possible…we are parents, and still have another child to protect.

 


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